A time to vent and a time to cry

I have to admit I'm angry. It seems like no matter what I do in my life my hearing is an issue with someone. I am so sick and tired of it being an issue. In fact it pisses me off. I can't help that I was born with nerve damage. I can't help that my hearing got worse over 12 years and I sure as hell can't help that I lost it all 3 years ago. All I can do is accept it and move on. But for them to tell me that I can't adopt because I am single and deaf is complete and total bullshit! I am telling myself that it wasn't meant to be and that Mark will find a home. I just wanted his home with me. See in a way I identified with him. I know what it's like to be different. The great thing about kids with DS is they are just the sweetest kids I have ever been around. So, I'm heart broken right now. Why is it that society has to treat those of us with disabilities like lepers? What are they so damn afraid of? That it's contagious? Get over yourselves! Do some research and stop being ignorant. Just because we are different and have a disability doesn't make us inferior. It makes us better. I don't mean better than other people in a superior way. We're just better for it.

I was meant to be this way. I don't know why exactly, just that God felt it would do some good. For whom exactly I'm not sure. Maybe me or maybe you. Maybe to make me the very compassionate and sensitive person that I am. I don't know. All I know is between the deafness and all of my never ending health issues I feel like I need a break. Yes, I'm in kind of a pity party mode, it won't last long. I have too much to be grateful for. There are people out there who have it way worse than me and some of them I know personally and love them dearly. I just really wanted to be Mark's mom.

I watched the movie Dolphin Tale tonight. If you haven't seen it, it is a must. If you don't own it, it is a must have for your movie library! If you have kids with disabilities then you definitely need to have it because it is so very inspiriring. I laughed and cried throughout that entire movie. Thankfully, the movie has a very happy ending. It is my new favorite movie.

I know this is kind of a random post, but I needed to get it all down. Thanks for reading.

Kelly